Hey! There's a bomb in my puttu.....

This incident happened couple of days back when we got hungry at 12 midnight(again). Its kind of mandatory for students of the GEC men's hostel to feel hungry at late hours. But its us alone, and not the abrupt dinner time of 7 P.M or the bad food of the mess, who are responsible(satire intended). Anyhow, we settled to buy "Puttu and Kadala" from Double X( I realized that each and every word in that sentence must have felt funny to the marwadis but well....). Now definitely many of you might not know what puttu or kadala is so I am gonna tell you. Puttu is a Keralite dish made from rice in cylindrical shapes. It is steamed and extremely delicious so everyone but especially the health conscious people can enjoy it. Kadala on the other hand is our "Chana". This is the standard combination puttu and kadala curry, but the best thing about puttu is that it can be eaten with almost any dish, veg or non-veg(Go check it out on the wiki, I bet your mouth would start watering). Double X is the pilgrimage for every hungry hostler in Thrissur. Its a restaurant that opens at 11 at night!!! and remains opened till 5 in the morning(If I am wrong correct me please my fellow hostlers). Its good food plus available at reasonable rates. So as Prashanth and Varun set out to buy us the food, this is what happened.

They were stopped by a police patrol who were doing random checks to prevent terrorist activities such as bombings. Now according to Kerala police, puttu is a very potent explosive and combined with kadala its lethal. Its not wrong that they were stopped for checking at midnight, but they were kept humiliated for 20 mins even when the police came to know that they were just going to buy some food. So what did they thought, that two lungi clad goofy looking kids are going to blow up something. Like, yes the engineering students in Thrissur have come up with new terror devices: 1.Puttu bomb(with kadala it works like clay-more), 2. Dosha detonator, 3. Vada killer(When used it sprays 'ulli chamandhi' in your eyes), 4. Poisnous Idli(Wait a minute...... we actually get that in mess)..... Anyways, what I mean to say is that it was illogical for the police to waste their time and prolong our hunger. And for God's sake, there is nothing even remotely important in Thrissur to be blown up, apart from the beautiful temples, churches and mosques of course, but then again terrorists only attack places where there is a crowd ;) (So police should tighten security near Vimala college, PC Thomas coaching center and every girl's hostel)

Well after 20 minutes of humiliation, abuse, discouragement and suicidal thoughts, my friends were left just like that, even when they didn't had their license or the papers for the vehicle. Now many of my Rajasthani friends might think, what a dumb police, they just let go some mullah. No No No my friends let me clarify it. Kerala police is actually smarter than Rajasthan police. You see, Rajasthan police would f**k you even if they know that you have no money. They will be satisfied with the little dough they get and leave their prey. Now this prey won't ever make the same blunder again due to fear. But Kerala police will let you go with just a warning, so you get happy and feel lucky. Then you try to do the same trick again thinking, "hey these cops are dumb enough", but this time Kerala police f**ks you big time, and they f**k you so hard that you won't have money even to buy an underwear.

All in all, everything after that went smoothly. We got our tummies full and had a good sleep but this bomb incident will be a memory.........at least for two people.

Peace and the Dead Indian

So, it happened again. Another series of bomb blasts, rattled India and as always the government stood drooling like a retard(no offense meant for the disabled, just a figure of speech). But what bothers me more is that the news didn't bring a shock for me, it didn't even intrigue me. So, I ask myself -"have you turned to a stone completely vj??" And the answer as well pops at once - "I am not turning to stone........ Every other Indian is as well.". I say this because I know that none of the people I know around me were actually interested in the news. Some did post their concern on their Facebook walls, but it was momentous rather than willing. And I pretty much believe that most of us forgot the incident the very next day. So the question is, have Indians decided to accept rather than retaliate. Facebook updates and angry SMSs won't help the dead and nor would writing blogs. So what do we do???

Before we discuss further, I would like to jump to this other hot topic : Ajmal Kasab. Now I have heard it, read it and felt it: why in the hell is the government baby sitting Kasab for over a year now?? Well I won't say anything about the government in this matter cause I have no idea how politics is played. Why the government would spend more money on securing Kasab than subsidizing LPG? Its like, you come home crying after being bitten by a mad dog, but rather than beating the shit out of the dog, your father starts prancing around with it. Hell, if I had to deal with Kasab, I would have kept a gun on Kasab's head and said- "Alright motherf***er this is how it goes. I will count upto 3. Before I stop counting, you would start telling me names and locations of your commanders, your bases,your accomplices and aides in India. 1..2..3..BOOM." Over. Now if asked to the government, they would say that this kind of step would result in loss of evidence and jeopardize our relations with the neighbors. And I say, for the past one year all we had been doing was having tea parties with the people who are trying to destroy us and also wiping their dog's ass. Its better that we shoot the dog, kick the guests out and get our hands clean now. I am not a violent person...... Ok, yes I am but never have I lost my temper without a reason and nor do I support illogical bloodshed but I know one thing: You f**k with me and I will break your d**k. And frankly speaking I don't get Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi's learning's either(Mahatma Gandhi supporters, this is not an assault on him or congress so please don't flood the comments with details of his greatness and abuses for me). I don't understand showing my other cheek just to be slapped again. And those he called terrorists, the revolutionaries, I really believe in their theory. For how they defined it was, its not violence but self-defense. And I believe that what I said about dealing with Kasab and other terrorists, is in fact defense, not for me, but for my future, my children. Because I know that it would come back for our children as well.

Now we come back to our earlier agenda, has India or more appropriately Indians, succumbed to the scrutiny of our oppressors? Well, the answer to it is with you only and I tell you its different for every Indian. If you ask me, I had been hearing about terrorist attacks in India since childhood, one of them even happened in my city Jaipur. I had been a part of a war as well(not literally but our lives were affected in a way.) So what happened was that I became so acceptable of calamities that they stopped making me anxious. It doesn't mean that I don't care anymore. I do have concern for the injured and sympathy for the dead as well as anger for the assailants but the difference is that I have grown sterner and sans wordily or expressive emotions. I do think that everyone of us has some reason for our casual attitude towards such incidents. Some people may don't even care about what happens to others(Don't nod your head cause you know as well that their are many self-centered people, people who don't even care about their own children, leave alone the nation.). But I believe that everyone I know still have their soul intact and they do care, for my friend Prashanth wouldn't have paused listening to his favorite music when he heard this news :P. Believe me he wouldn't have had done that even if I had died.(Just Kidding)

Many of you might think that even though I named the post "Peace and the Dead Indian" I didn't even mention peace once. All I did was prattle about ignorance, revenge and Ajmal Kasab.

Well, when I sat down to write I wanted to write about peace, but as I progressed I found out that my mind was angry and indecisive. I can't tell you about peace when I myself am not at peace with this subject. And I am not telling you this as some cigar-smoking, goatee-brandishing philosopher, its what I think. Cause these horrid times are not meant for peace making but for strengthening our defenses. Talking about peace now is like talking about celibacy in a wh**ehouse. I hope you understand or rather enlighten me on peace.

Waiting eagerly for your responses. Please do comment.

Attention!!!

Well, I am very glad that people have been reading my blog and also like it, but I would like to make a statement here.

This is basically for girls and some men who do not appreciate raw language. The thing is people that I write my posts as words come to my mind, as any other guy would imagine them. So the language in the posts could sometimes be abusive and for some it may also seem vulgar. But let me assure you that I am not trying to start a raunchy blog (I am not a pervert), but I like to write the truth and it can, at times, be very crude. I will try my best to censor the objectionable words, but you know that even if I omit some letters or * them, your mind is dirty enough to form them back. So for people who can't digest such language please forgive me and it will be better for you to not read the posts.

If you have any suggestions on how to counter this situation, please comment below, I would really like to know your opinion.

Thank you.

iLl-FaTeD

Hello.......to all 3 of you. I just got this feeling of writing something about this particular syndrome. I'll tell you what it is..... but first answer these questions:

1. Do you feel that you are the only one who has got a bad luck and all the others around you are quite happy?
2. Do you think that when you are about to get in trouble, you always feel that its gonna get worse and it actually does happen so ?
3. Do you often compare yourself with the most wretched person around you, thinking 'hey I am way better than him/her but still I am the one who gets in shit and not him/her' ?

If your answer is a yes for anyone of the above questions, then its a yes for the rest of them as well. Don't try to refuse cause I am pretty much sure that every person thinks so. For those who have all NOs for the questions and boasting a wide grin - "Get the hell outta here LIARS".

Now I shall tell you what this is about. Its actually called the "Ill-fated Paradox" (No, its not an actual term, I just invented it). For all my nerdy friends who know the meaning of paradox and all the curious friends who have googled it by now, I will explain why I call it a paradox. As for the ignorant, keep reading . A paradox is a statement/s which together may lead to a contradiction or a situation which is not logical. Now according to the above paradox, each and every person on Earth has the same three feelings that means that every person believes that the other person is happier which would conclude that either everyone is happy or everyone is equally screwed, which again defies the paradox, now do you get it?????......... Alright, alright I know it doesn't make any sense. I just named it like that because it sounded cool. But the situation still exists.

Everyone of us, when met with a challenge or trouble, starts believing that his life is so tough and that he is Ill-fated and then they start worrying and become grumpy accompanied by some very sweet diseases. I have had this feeling since childhood. I didn't get a candy:: God! I am ill-fated. The teacher checks my homework and then beats my ass:: God! I am ill-fated. My father agrees to buy me that toy after 4 hours of wailing and then I find that the store is closed:: God! I am ill-fated. Every friend of mine has a girlfriend and I don't:: God! I am ill-fated. I am 22 and still a vi.......... sorry..... just got over emotional. But the fact is that we all do have this mentality. I finally decided to write about this after a particular incident happened.

Our(my colleagues and me) marking scheme for sessionals include 15 marks for assignment work which one of our lecturers decided to calculate by assessing our notebooks also. Now when I finally receive my sessionals, I find that he hasn't given me any marks for my notebook work to which he stated that I was unable to produce the notebook when he had asked for it. It gets better, after I convince him that I had my notes complete and that I had kept it for review in his office, he assures that he will check his records again but told me that I should also keep my notebook ready for verification. The fact is that I believe it got lost.

Now I am not a nerd, geek, padhaku, padipist or any other honorifics you have for class toppers. And even without those 5 marks it won't be that bad for me, but the fact is that its not extra marks that I desire. My mind works like this: If I had earned it, I must get it. For god's sake, I don't even buy a notebook for other subjects, but for this one I made complete notes and even submitted them and then if I don't get marks, I get pissed.

So what do I want to convey?? I got lower marks and thought I am in trouble. Then, when asked to keep the notebook ready, I had a feeling that I am not going to find it and it happened. Then I looked at this jerk who had got better marks than me, I thought why me and not him? You see......."Ill-fated Paradox". What I am saying is that it happens with everyone and it really gives you a headache(I myself spent hours searching for my notebook). So how do you tackle it???? I have a solution:- try finding peace in other's misery. Yeah, it sounds sick but I am not telling you to tango in front of this other guy pointing out his miseries. Rather try to see that you are not the only one with a bad day, others too have problems even worse than you, and they are still coping. So try to believe that god is not trying to doom your life alone. Like I did, I got dejected about this incident but then suddenly I thought of my colleague who got only 16 marks in his engineering graphics final examination, just because he hadn't much time to mark the question numbers against the drawings. How dumb is that??? Its like getting fu**ed by a d**do with rusted iron nails on it. Man, he must have been pissed like hell. Then, I just got relaxed. Although I still wanted those 5 marks but I was not tensed anymore.

This is just my opinion, but I believe that this "paradox" does exist and there may be many other ways to overcome it, much better ways maybe. So I would like you all to comment and leave your opinion about it.

P.S : People who are going to list yoga or Baba Ramdev as a remedy, should not bother posting.

Thank You for reading.

Finally the obsession of writing blogs among engineering students engulfed me as well. But while others have some strong motives behind writing a blog such as 'bringing about a revolution'(read with air quotes), I on the other hand, don't have such higher purposes. So anybody looking for technical magnificence or artistic brilliance shall refrain from this blog. Such people may comment below and I shall happily direct you to the blogs of more apt people.

So for the remaining people( if left any) I would like to start by explaining why I chose such an absurd name for a blog. I would like to tackle the first two words together : Mallus and Marwadis. Well its simple, I am a Keralite by birth and a Rajasthani by upbringing. You can visualize me as a Mundu clad guy eating Daal, Bati and Choorma. Till I was in Rajasthan(for the whole 19 years), I was called a Mallu, not only me but every other Keralite kid whom I knew. However, when I came to Kerala to pursue my B.Tech, I was given a new nick name : Marwadi. So in a way I was never able to mingle with either group completely. It never bothered me much though, but the way I was treated by each group made me see them in a different light. I don't say that any of them were harsh on me, in fact the majority of people I met from both groups were extremely friendly and many are now like family to me, but this experience helped me pick up those minute details that otherwise I wouldn't had noticed had I blended with each group completely. It was very interesting to see the common myths each group had about the other, and so I would like to clarify some things here:

#For my Rajasthani friends:-

1. No, there is not a single state in southern India called Madras and not every south Indian is a 'madrasi'. In fact southern India comprises of three states namely Kerala, Karnataka and Tamil Nadu.
2. Yes, the majority of us wear lungi, but we are not the only ones and neither have we invented it. If you care to observe almost all men from various states prefer wearing lungi such as Punjab, Bihar and West Bengal. I have even seen some Rajasthani men wearing lungi so stop making lungi jokes on us.
3. Yes, a lot of us drink and we drink hard. We can be like the storage houses of liquor once a major occasion nears. But unlike the rumors, most of us know how to keep it inside.
4. Yes, many of us including a lot of Hindus devour on cow meat, but neither is it disgusting nor is it an attack on any religion. Our religions have never restricted us on eating habits.
5. Finally, not all of us have doctorates in English. So every idiot who told me in school - "Tu toh south indian hai, teri toh english achchi hogi hi" - should eat dirt.

# For my Keralite friends :-

1. No, North India doesn't have a single state called Uttar Pradesh. There are around 7 states that comprise North India one of them being Rajasthan.
2. No, not all of us are hot headed, but if we get pissed then only god can save you.
3. No, our food is not unhealthy and bland because we don't use coconut oil. If you ask me, there is nothing better than North Indian food (Sorry my mallu friends).
4. Not every one of us is intellectually inferior to every other Keralite. We have many brilliant minds.
5. Finally, not all of us have doctorates in English. So every idiot who told me in college - "Ni UPinalle, veruthe alla ninde english super aayathu." - should eat dirt.

Well I should make clear that this is not compulsory for every Keralite or Rajasthani but for the many people I have met and who keep this mentality.

So you might ask what do I consider myself : a mallu or a marwadi. I would say both. I am bicultural and believe me its much fun being that way. Being brought up like this had its disadvantages but it also had its benefits like If I am walking with a mallu friend in Rajasthan we can check out girls and discuss it in Malayalam and no one would understand what the heck we are saying. To relieve anger, I can abuse any of my college friends with the biggest curses in Rajasthani and they won't get offended. They might even smile in response. So, problem solved and no harm done. Its these small perks that makes this experience worthwhile.

We move on to video games now. Nothing much to say, I am just crazy about them. On the list of five things I can't live without, Video Games would come at no.4 above 'sleep'. I am passionate about them so you would have to love them as well as they will be an integral part of this blog.

So, what could you expect from the posts?? Well thats where this blog differs, You don't expect anything. Its not a dedicated blog so I may post anything: maybe my life experiences,my opinions, a video game or movie review, my poetry (yeah I write, stop giggling). We may have discussions here or share stuff/information beneficial for everyone.

I don't know if anyone's going to follow my blog, but for those who do I just have one thing to say :Its gonna be fun.